Aaron Horeth

Aaron Horeth in writing!

Six Years — July 20, 2018

Six Years

Kimberly,

Six years have passed since I first met you,
And it has been a great six years.

We’ve grown to be better people,
Individually and as a team.

We’ve faced new challenges and experiences,
With strength and a smile.

I feel like I’ve known you longer,
I love you so much.

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Confessions/Opinions 1 — July 14, 2018

Confessions/Opinions 1

I feel like one of the main sources of hatred in the world is religion. I am not saying it is the only one, there are several. But I think it is a big source of hatred. This is my opinion which does not make it a fact in any way, shape or form.

Maybe not all religions are guilty but I feel like we should examine being a member of a group (religions as a strong example). I think groups instill control on their members be it political parties, countries or religions. I think it is smart to think and feel and I think it is good to be an individual.

I see/hear of people saying “my god is better than yours”. People kill others in the name of their god(s), the Westboro Baptist Church pickets. They (the Westboro Baptist Church) were rumored to have picketed Ronnie James Dio’s funeral. His loved ones were mourning and his fans felt heartfelt remorse because their legend had died. That does not matter though because “god hates Ronnie James Dio”. I do not see how you can justify hatred for such a tragic thing as the death of an individual. Someone once told me that Pokemon was evil because it was created by a satanist. That makes no sense to me whatsoever. I just feel like I see/hear a lot of hatred in the name of a religion.

I am not saying all religious people are bad, I have met a ton of religious people from different faiths, people who were so nice to me. I think religion can bring together a group of people and instill community. However, I do not think we need religion to be good people, I think we all have that capability. I think we feel like we need religion for any number of reasons such as generational or cultural reasons. I think it is for an older world and does not fit in our current social ecosystem.

I have been told “You’re going to hell” for everything from listening to Black Sabbath, playing Magic The Gathering and not having a religion. I was just minding my own business. How am I going to your hell if I do not even believe in that?

I honestly feel that religion does cause hatred. I think it makes us feel like those who are different from us, those who believe in another god are inhuman or evil.

What I am trying to say is, and there is no right answer, I think religion can foster hatred. I also believe there is historical evidence as proof. I think the people in power in those religions attempt to use it as a means of control, as a means of power.

I choose not to have a religion and not to believe in anything. However, that does not make me a bad person. In the same respect, choosing to have a religion does not make you a bad person. Neither does someone having a religion differing from yours make them a bad person.

As a final thought, maybe the people in power are the real bad people? Maybe they want us to hate each other because that takes the focus away from their wrong doings?

Embarassment — July 13, 2018

Embarassment

Every time I express myself I feel like an idiot. I embarrass myself.

I know it’s because I’ve spent so much time being afraid to speak my opinion and thinking my opinions as well as myself were worthless. I know that for a fact.

That’s all due to the fact that I let myself be impacted by the words/actions of others. I wasn’t strong enough to stand up for myself so I hid and protected my thoughts/ideas and creations so nobody could hurt me ever. I’ve spent so much time hating myself and the ones who hurt me that it has consumed my life.

I’ve spent so much time feeling lack of worth in self and opinions and I don’t want to be like that anymore. It’s good to express yourself, it’s also good to fail and face embarrassment. It’s healthy to let yourself be exposed to others like that. It hurts too much to keep on being the way that I am.

I’m not worthless and neither is my voice.

Born a Monster — May 28, 2018
_ — March 8, 2018

_

“I don’t know how you are a qualified to develop professional applications…”,
he said, a most degrading tone in his voice. Not the first offense, just the worst this far. I left a security hole in the application I had been working on. I understand what I did wrong and why it was wrong and have since fixed it. I listened to his criticism, despite the abrasive delivery.

I wanted to tell him, “incompetence is just one of my many skills”
but you cannot talk to the customer that way. You just have to put up with them and try to get past it.

At what point is a customer allowed to debase another human?
We have all heard of horror stories from severely mean individuals. Anywhere you work, you will always have a customer.

I suppose the best thing to do is to ignore their less than kind words and actions. But it is so hard to ignore when a comment hits you in the face so abruptly. That is part of the challenge of human interaction though.

You start to question your abilities, even though, you got to this point so you must have some skill, some level of competency. But that hardly matters to you, for some reason words can cause so much pain.

I need to keep improving, keep learning new things. Sometimes my best is not good enough and I completely understand that and am willing to listen to criticism. I have to be better and work harder. I want to prove my competence and I have a want to learn and keep pushing.

I will never give up. That is one of my best skills, it is one of my core values.

I look up to you — February 22, 2018

I look up to you

I look up to you.

The way you’re able to stand up for yourself.
The incredible strength you have,
despite all the chaos around you.

The determination for change,
all the progress you’ve made.
All the progress we’ve made together.

Life isn’t easy,
not at all.
But you always find a way.

You admire trees for their strength,
and you wish to be one.
In many ways you are.

I admire all that you bring to this world.

I don’t say that enough,
I don’t express my gratitude,
my love enough.

I’m a kind and caring man.
As well a nervous and shy man.
Whose fear can get the best of him.

No life is perfect,
but that should not excuse one
from living and participating.

You are the one I think about.

It hurts to see you struggle,
to see you plagued and bruised.
I want to protect you from that.

Sometimes the words and actions
I use aren’t the best of help.
Don’t give up on me for that.

I know that’s not all,
I know that I show laziness.
I use excuses like “I’m tired”.

Excuses that don’t help anyone.

When you’re angry, it’s as if
you’re another person.
At the same time, I feel it’s for just reason.

I feel like I mess things up,
and that’s the last thing I want.
I don’t want to hurt you.

It’s because I’m too nervous around the world.
I try not to let it take over.
But anxiety has that effect.

You’re so strong.

I love your smile,
your laugh,
your sense of humor.

Your love of the outdoors,
your love of animals,
your love of art.

I love your creative spirit.
I love that we share so much in common.
True, some things we share aren’t great.

We have such a strong history of events.

I don’t want to be scared,
Or let excuses rule me.
I want to be strong for you.

I will be strong for you.

Stones Covered In Moss — February 6, 2018
Sleep Well — December 16, 2017

Sleep Well

Sleep well my love,
It’s been far too long.

You toil over the war
In your mind.

All I can do is
Comfort you,

And that breaks
My heart.

I see you suffering,
Let me hold you.

You sleep so gently,
Free from the stress.

Free from insomnia,
At least for tonight.

Sleep well,
My love.

Humanless Cities — October 14, 2016
Lyric — October 3, 2016

Lyric

Lobster degenerates
Musical instruments.
Wear your heart on
Your lapel.
Climbing mountains
On stilts and suntans.
I got a stain on my pants
And it’s pissing me off.

Roll your eyes
At my disguise.
See if I care
Cause I got flare.
Flash,
Pizaz,
And a feather hat.

Standing in a field
Like a goat with a stethoscope.
Staring at the cows
And watching them cope.
With a life so short
And meaningless.
Beef for humans
Indentured
Potential food.

Incentive for complacency
Complacency for emergency.
Don’t move for the ambulances
Cause their wasting your time.
Selfish and tasteless
Fat and greedy.
Flicking that butt
Out of the window.