A North Hare

Aaron Horeth in writing!

_ — March 8, 2018


“I don’t know how you are a qualified to develop professional applications…”,
he said, a most degrading tone in his voice. Not the first offense, just the worst this far. I left a security hole in the application I had been working on. I understand what I did wrong and why it was wrong and have since fixed it. I listened to his criticism, despite the abrasive delivery.

I wanted to tell him, “incompetence is just one of my many skills”
but you cannot talk to the customer that way. You just have to put up with them and try to get past it.

At what point is a customer allowed to debase another human?
We have all heard of horror stories from severely mean individuals. Anywhere you work, you will always have a customer.

I suppose the best thing to do is to ignore their less than kind words and actions. But it is so hard to ignore when a comment hits you in the face so abruptly. That is part of the challenge of human interaction though.

You start to question your abilities, even though, you got to this point so you must have some skill, some level of competency. But that hardly matters to you, for some reason words can cause so much pain.

I need to keep improving, keep learning new things. Sometimes my best is not good enough and I completely understand that and am willing to listen to criticism. I have to be better and work harder. I want to prove my competence and I have a want to learn and keep pushing.

I will never give up. That is one of my best skills, it is one of my core values.

I look up to you — February 22, 2018

I look up to you

I look up to you.

The way you’re able to stand up for yourself.
The incredible strength you have,
despite all the chaos around you.

The determination for change,
all the progress you’ve made.
All the progress we’ve made together.

Life isn’t easy,
not at all.
But you always find a way.

You admire trees for their strength,
and you wish to be one.
In many ways you are.

I admire all that you bring to this world.

I don’t say that enough,
I don’t express my gratitude,
my love enough.

I’m a kind and caring man.
As well a nervous and shy man.
Whose fear can get the best of him.

No life is perfect,
but that should not excuse one
from living and participating.

You are the one I think about.

It hurts to see you struggle,
to see you plagued and bruised.
I want to protect you from that.

Sometimes the words and actions
I use aren’t the best of help.
Don’t give up on me for that.

I know that’s not all,
I know that I show laziness.
I use excuses like “I’m tired”.

Excuses that don’t help anyone.

When you’re angry, it’s as if
you’re another person.
At the same time, I feel it’s for just reason.

I feel like I mess things up,
and that’s the last thing I want.
I don’t want to hurt you.

It’s because I’m too nervous around the world.
I try not to let it take over.
But anxiety has that effect.

You’re so strong.

I love your smile,
your laugh,
your sense of humor.

Your love of the outdoors,
your love of animals,
your love of art.

I love your creative spirit.
I love that we share so much in common.
True, some things we share aren’t great.

We have such a strong history of events.

I don’t want to be scared,
Or let excuses rule me.
I want to be strong for you.

I will be strong for you.

Stones Covered In Moss — February 6, 2018
Sleep Well — December 16, 2017

Sleep Well

Sleep well my love,
It’s been far too long.

You toil over the war
In your mind.

All I can do is
Comfort you,

And that breaks
My heart.

I see you suffering,
Let me hold you.

You sleep so gently,
Free from the stress.

Free from insomnia,
At least for tonight.

Sleep well,
My love.

Humanless Cities — October 14, 2016
Lyric — October 3, 2016


Lobster degenerates
Musical instruments.
Wear your heart on
Your lapel.
Climbing mountains
On stilts and suntans.
I got a stain on my pants
And it’s pissing me off.

Roll your eyes
At my disguise.
See if I care
Cause I got flare.
And a feather hat.

Standing in a field
Like a goat with a stethoscope.
Staring at the cows
And watching them cope.
With a life so short
And meaningless.
Beef for humans
Potential food.

Incentive for complacency
Complacency for emergency.
Don’t move for the ambulances
Cause their wasting your time.
Selfish and tasteless
Fat and greedy.
Flicking that butt
Out of the window.

Waking Up — September 15, 2016

Waking Up

Waking up, I felt a little sick.
and thought to myself…

“I should take the day off!”
(pause for a few seconds)
running to the computer,
frantically counting,
days off.

All before she wakes up.

“We could go on a trip”
Thinking quickly…

“Kimberly, I have 3 days left”
“Actually, 2 now”…
(pause for a few seconds)
“I’m taking today off”
“You are!”, Kimberly’s eyes widened

“And we’re going to Ithaca”
“We are!”, Kimberly had become
wildly excited!

We continued to sleep
for some hours.
Healing from
a sleep deficit.

Packing up snacks, water,
the dog.
We left our home.
because of spontaneity.

The trip was
as fun as
the destination.

We saw flowers and water,
climbed on rocks.
Kimberly even did yoga,
out in public.
A first for her!
I was
and still am
immensely proud of her.

As I Sit Here — July 13, 2016

As I Sit Here

Dearest love, best friend and partner for life Kimberly:

As I sit here,
in the lucid loneliness of the graveyard shift.

Slaving tirelessly over a keyboard in a cold office
as if it were a hot stove and I were cooking pancakes.

I feel a longing for that feeling of home
that being beside you brings me, brings us.

As I sit here,
fervently studying the opcodes of the 8080.

My mind cannot focus on programming, I miss you.
I miss your familiarity and texture.

Although we’re only 45 minutes apart tonight,
it feels like hours.

Yours truly,

Silence — February 21, 2016
Lessons On Boating — January 27, 2016

Lessons On Boating

For when the seas get choppy,
it’s best you not have a jalopy.
You need a ship that’s not gonna tip,
a ship shape ship that can weather the trip.
So you don’t float ashore,
with the mighty albacore,
all because you bought a jalopy.