Lessons On Boating

For when the seas get choppy,
it’s best you not have a jalopy.
You need a ship that’s not gonna tip,
a ship shape ship that can weather the trip.
So you don’t float ashore,
with the mighty albacore,
all because you bought a jalopy.

Advertisements

Cat On My Lap

Cat on my lap.
He doesn’t want me to write.
He want’s me to feed him.
Or something like that.
He’s watching the letters
as they appear on this screen.
His weight is distracting,
the way his head impairs my
vision of the screen is distracting.
What the hell!
I guess I’ll stop writing and pet him.
He is my buddy after all.
Not to mention he’s now
gnawing playfully on my arm.

Village

The dim plastic sun bathes my space with its dim plastic glow. Calm air creates an environment of tranquility. There’s a watering hole to my right, and my fellow villagers can be seen gathering sustenance before returning to their quest. Three and an eighth barriers protect me from most dangers. My one open side susceptible to offense. Above me a stagnant grayish white sky. Below me, the light brown of the fabric earth provides an anchor. Village walls protect my comrades and I from threats both visible and distant.

Distant rumblings are barely detectable, but still noticeable enough to elicit a response and a listen. Could they be gargantuan creatures? Their rumblings allude to their size. Mouths of huge teeth and powerful jaws. These creatures could crush anything with ease, as if they were chewing on grass. I don’t have to worry however, I’m protected by my barriers. Mostly…

One of the members from another village, stops by. He’s loud, aggressive and abrasive. Everyone in his village is. I do not know of their location, just of their leader and a few of his aides. He yearns to talk to my leader who is off on a quest at the present moment and shall not return for some time.

One of my fellow villagers wanders aimlessly around the village, stopping every so often to practice for the hunt. In his raised arms, he wields a soft, blue orb. Is battle with another village imminent? Should I prepare, should I sharpen my axe? Are we to fight the creatures responsible for the distant rumblings? I hear complaint of these distant rumblings from another villager. He’s in charge of watching the village, protecting it. He gives us the status on the happenings from the outside. Most of the other villagers are away on quests.

Soup

“There’s a fly in my soup.”
“There’s a fly in my soup.”
“There’s a fly in my soup.”
“There’s a fly in my soup.”
“Hello sir, how is your soup?”
“There’s a god damn fly in my soup!”

Why the waiter gave a steak knife to the patron who ordered soup will remain an unsolved mystery.

Funny Story

One day, I was at work and I saw a binder labeled “Bowie Dick”. I thought it was supremely amusing but held in my laughter. Some months later, I saw that term again in a different place. I had to know, what is a “Bowie Dick”? I asked one of my coworkers, as calmly as possible.

He said, the Bowie Dick is a test for sterility.
A STERILITY TEST! Bowie Dick is a sterility test…

I almost couldn’t hold my laughter in, I nearly lost it.
But I was able to keep calm. I didn’t want to seem immature to my coworkers, as I am the youngest in the company, there’s a certain level of maturity I’m trying to at least fake.