Stopping Traffic

Sometimes when I’m driving, I imagine myself waiting, stopped at a green light. I can see it now. A line of cars behind me, honking. The drivers getting angrier and angrier with each passing moment. And me, I’m just sitting there with a wide smirk on my face. Enjoying every moment of road rage coming from behind. I feel the power of putting people in their place and spurring road rage in others.

Then, I think to myself, why don’t I do that? What’s stopping myself from just stopping my car dead in it’s tracks with a bunch of drivers behind me.

It takes a moment but I then realize that I don’t have a death wish. While intentionally angering the other drivers would bring me great joy, supreme happiness, a sense of fulfillment and revenge on road rage, I am afraid I would probably get killed. I’m sure some person, would come up to my car, smash my window and beat me to death or stab me or something.

And I also realize that stopping traffic for the reasons I’ve described above is probably road rage itself (I do feel like the other drivers are bullying me though, even though they don’t know me and I don’t know them). Still…

It would be so pleasing…

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Tailgatin’ Is Hatin’

Why are you driving so close behind me?

The speed limit is 30 here, give me some space.
Why are you driving so close, don’t you know it’s dangerous?

Now the speed limit is 20, we’re in a school zone.
And yet, you’re still driving close, even closer now.
Hasn’t anyone told you that’s dangerous?

What if I have to stop suddenly?
What if there’s a kid crossing the street in the school zone?
Don’t you think that’s the reason for the slower speed?
Don’t you understand it’s dangerous?

Speed limits are put in place for a reason.
A limit is something you don’t exceed.
You’re not above the law so don’t be above the speed limit.
Slow down, you’re not getting anywhere faster.
Slow down, you’re not that important.

If you hit me, it will be your fault.
If you hit me, we’ll have to fill out tons of paperwork.
If you hit me, the insurance companies will get to stuff their greedy pockets.
Is it really worth the risk and paperwork to drive so close?
Is it really worth it to drive so recklessly?
You’re endangering me and your environment.

— “Tailgatin’ is Hatin’!” (A North Hare) —