Travel

I know credit cards are dangerous, but…

Suppose I sign up for one, paying no attention to the small print and the “low” APR. Fully understanding that it’s not my money I’m spending but not caring whatsoever. Now, with that credit card, I travel the world, with my girlfriend, ignoring the monthly balances and fees. Lasting 5, 10 years, not paying the monthly fees. Just traveling and experiencing everything we can. I think we could get away with it!

In reality I know we couldn’t, we would be stopped pretty quick. The credit card company would figure out what we were up to in no time at all. How is one making a semi-almost-decent salary, tied down to a desk, supposed to see the world?

Oh well, that’s what my imagination is for! Luckily that imagination is a finely tuned, world cultured, jet-set machine ready to take me to Morocco or Zimbabwe in an instant. Who needs waiting in line at an airport, being groped by overly-eager security guards who make fun of your phone because it’s not a “smart” phone? In my mind I’m already basking in the sun and chugging can after can of Dr. Pepper Cherry (my favorite soda), and swimming in crystal clear waters with my amazing girlfriend by my side of course!

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Village

The dim plastic sun bathes my space with its dim plastic glow. Calm air creates an environment of tranquility. There’s a watering hole to my right, and my fellow villagers can be seen gathering sustenance before returning to their quest. Three and an eighth barriers protect me from most dangers. My one open side susceptible to offense. Above me a stagnant grayish white sky. Below me, the light brown of the fabric earth provides an anchor. Village walls protect my comrades and I from threats both visible and distant.

Distant rumblings are barely detectable, but still noticeable enough to elicit a response and a listen. Could they be gargantuan creatures? Their rumblings allude to their size. Mouths of huge teeth and powerful jaws. These creatures could crush anything with ease, as if they were chewing on grass. I don’t have to worry however, I’m protected by my barriers. Mostly…

One of the members from another village, stops by. He’s loud, aggressive and abrasive. Everyone in his village is. I do not know of their location, just of their leader and a few of his aides. He yearns to talk to my leader who is off on a quest at the present moment and shall not return for some time.

One of my fellow villagers wanders aimlessly around the village, stopping every so often to practice for the hunt. In his raised arms, he wields a soft, blue orb. Is battle with another village imminent? Should I prepare, should I sharpen my axe? Are we to fight the creatures responsible for the distant rumblings? I hear complaint of these distant rumblings from another villager. He’s in charge of watching the village, protecting it. He gives us the status on the happenings from the outside. Most of the other villagers are away on quests.

Tough Decision

I was faced with a difficult decision today. Get the 20 oz bottle of Dr. Pepper or the 16 oz can of Dr. Pepper. I love Dr. Pepper.

So here is some data to give you a good perspective to my predicament.

The Pros of the 20 oz bottle:

  • Re-closable
  • I like the shape
  • More Dr.Pepper than the 16 oz can
  • It’s more expensive than the 16 oz can

The Cons of the 20 oz bottle:

  • I hate the taste of soda from a plastic bottle
    (NOTE: This is a huge factor worth considering)

The Pros of the 16 oz can:

  • It’s in a can. Soda tastes better in a can than it does in a bottle.
    (NOTE: This is a huge factor worth considering)
  • It’s cheaper than the 20 oz bottle

The Cons of the 16 oz can:

  • It has 4 fewer ounces than the 20 oz bottle
  • It’s not re-closable

Now, I wanted to see how much I was paying per ounce. I figured that I was paying about $0.061 per ounce for the 16 oz can and about $0.094 per ounce for the 20 oz bottle.

I determined that the can was the best choice. Besides, I like the number 16 more than 20 because it’s got a 6 in it and I feel connected to the number 6.

So I got the 16 oz can.

And, when I got to work, I spilled some of it on me and my co-worker harassed me (which is funny because he’s a goofy guy). Would that have happened with the 20 oz bottle? No, it would not have happened with the 20 oz bottle. Why? Because it’s re-closable.

Solution

It started as a puzzle but turned into a solution. A solution that was and is the only solution. So they say…

“But there’s always more than one solution to a problem.”

“You’re wrong, this is the only solution. And that’s final.”

The two argued late into the night, each retort getting more and more heated. It was about midnight when the climax of the argument started. One of them reached for a knife in the drawer and the other got the axe from the storage closet.

Why is there an axe in a storage closet?

Is that really the question you want to be asking at this point of the story?

Anyways, before I was interrupted. The battle. The battle? Yes! The battle.

Well, it was actually not that much of a battle. As I told you that was the climax. At the point where they had brandished their weapons, they looked at each other. They realized how silly they had been and they realized that they had forgotten what they were arguing about in the first place.

“Look at us. Bunch of silly geese.”

Dropping their weapons, they went about their business and a bloodbath was diverted. Unfortunately?

Just to be Safe

“Did I wash my hands?”
“You better wash them again just to be safe.”

“I locked my car right?”
“I think so but, just to be safe, you should check it.”
“I’m sure I locked it.”
“Better check one more time.”

“Did I turn off the stove?”
“We should check, just in case”.
“Ok, but we’ll have to unlock the front door first.”
“The stove is off.”
“Are all of the lights off?”
“Yes, they are.”

“Did we lock the door?”
“Yes, do you want to check again?”
“Yes, better just make sure to be safe.”

“Are my car lights out?”
“Let’s check just to be safe.”

Indecision

“I’d like to place an order”
“What’ll it be?” The man behind the counter had a rough voice and a rougher exterior.
“Umm…” I was lost, the menu was really big and I needed to make a decision yesterday.

Seconds passed…

“There are people waiting impatiently behind me” I noticed the mob getting angrier.

“I’ll have, wait… I don’t like ketchup. Umm…” The man behind the counter had a look of pure evil on his face.

“Order already damn it”…
“Get outta line, I’m starvin'”…
“Yeah, go home idiot!”…
The mass behind me might as well have had pitchforks because they were about to kill me.

“Argh!” I thought to myself, all of this anger was making it harder for me to concentrate.

And then,

A smack…

I was hit over the head with a blunt object. Someone behind me had had enough of my indecision. They had ripped a table leg off of the only table in the little deli and used it to teach me a lesson. Who was I to stop them from getting food? Who was I to hold them up from their busy life?

I awoke several hours later to find the deli empty. Everyone was gone, except for the man behind the counter.
His hand stretched out to help me up.

“Sorry I couldn’t make up my mind. There’s a lot on the menu and the other customers were making it hard for me to concentrate”. I apologized to the man, I felt like I needed to do that.

“You’re fine, I’m not upset. I’m sorry the other’s attacked you”. He seemed kind. I hadn’t thought he would be the kind type of person.

He walked over to the refrigerator and asked me if I wanted a soda. There was Dr. Pepper there so, of course, I opted for that.

“I’d take a Dr. Pepper”. I said sheepishly.
The man handed me the soda.
“It’s on the house.”

That Dr. Pepper tasted amazing!